im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize