Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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