Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Ladies don't puke and tell
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
