What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
