I just made out with a guy for $7.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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