fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize