i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
