what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
