Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
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