doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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