The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize