It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
