Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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