i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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