That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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