It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
