well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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