So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Congratulations! We have a period
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize