Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
