I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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