sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
