dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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