for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
