i think i have herpe
just one?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
