Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
her vagine was all disorganized.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize