i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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