Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
