Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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