and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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