yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
