we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
