Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
