My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
