Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
