So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
