i think i have herpe
just one?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
