He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
