i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
