Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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