you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
