dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
