I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
