i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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