Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
