i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We have started to decorate penises.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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