I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
