some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
