your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
