I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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