I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
