I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
