Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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