About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
