I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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