508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
