Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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