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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I love you

  (720): View more from Colorado

  are you drunk

  (440): View more from Ohio

  yes but I def love you, we should get married

  (720): View more from Colorado

  But I'm Jewish

  (440): View more from Ohio

  embrace Jesus

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I wish they made sweatshirts for legs

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  you mean pants?

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.

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• (310): View more from California

  how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.

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• (739): View more from

  The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.

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• (650): View more from California

  I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on

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• (347): View more from New York

  Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude

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