He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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