We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
