How'd it feel making her break her religion?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
