my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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