More tranny stories later!
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
