Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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