Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
