Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize