i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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