Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
