How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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