Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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