oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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