Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
