i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
