Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
