Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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