I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
