I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
