I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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