I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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